cactus in the valley {Chase

[Deleted]

Don't let your mind expire.

Bianca was working like she always was, but it was a slow day. So, she was able to actually work on her school work between orders. It was a good thing really because most of the time she was unable to do that and would have to cram all her homework in last minute. So that's what she did all day. When the last customer came of the day came in and ordered their coffee, she took a break to clean up the shop and then gathered up her books before locking her parents' shop down. She threw her books in her car and decided to take a walk around the square before she drove home to start on her homework once again.

Her college courses were a pain in the ass, but the fact they were all online was so much easier than it would have been had she had classes on a campus. The closest one probably being in New York City since Harper Valley didn't really have much to choose from. On top of that she really didn't like driving much at al. She only drove because she had no choice. The distance from the coffee shop to her house wasn't all that far. She was able to walk it when the weather was decent and she wasn't carrying around a shit load of books.

Since she always had her books and laptop with her, walking to and from was hell. Though it wasn't too bad on the way to the cafe, after working eight hours or more by herself, she was exhausted and her feet protested the short distance to her car. Since it was slow, she actually had some pent up energy and she wanted to burn some of it. So she got into her car and drove to the park. Once there she got out of the car and went for a little jog around the park.

When she was finished with her jog, Bi decided to find a spot in the grass and work on her notes and homework. She got so comfortable that she ended up drifting off here and there. She didn't even notice as people began walking through the back, passing her. At one point she stretched out on her belly too try and write her notes easier. She ended up falling asleep, using her book as pillow by that point. She ended up getting hit by something and startled awake. She sat up and looked around her until her eyes fell on the closest person to her. She was groggy, though and couldn't really tell who it was.

"What happened?" she asked in a yawn since she really wasn't sure if she had been hit with something or tripped over.

Chase Harper | 461 | Outfit | Notes.

[Chase Harper]

pretend

it's all just make believe, it's all just

Another boring day at work left Chase miserable and antsy. He sat in the back with the cooks as they made a few dishes but today wouldn’t be a busy day for Chase. There was another busser working today and he seemed to be doing a good job without him so he didn’t move from his stool. His head was held up by his hand but as he started to slowly drift off to sleep it started to slip. When his head was no longer being held up by his hand and was inches from smacking against the metal counter he was suddenly brought back to reality and pulled his head up and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Though it wasn’t busy today the cooks were too distracted to pay attention to him. Fearing he would start to drift off again he decided to stretch his legs and see if there was any work for him.

Sadly there wasn’t but after another hour his shift was done and he was heading home. He couldn’t just go straight home though, he was too antsy. He enjoyed the fresh air and warm sun on his face and wanted to until the weather became bitter and too cold for him to want to leave the comfort of his bed. Hours at work with barely anything to do riled the boy up but though he was now free he didn’t have a clue what to do. He looked across the street over at Rosewood Park, seeing not too many people there today and decided it was safe to take a stroll. As he crossed the street he grabbed his iPod out of his pocket and put his ear buds into his ears. Once he was back onto the sidewalk he headed straight for the park and began to scroll through his playlist for the perfect song. He had listened to two songs before he reached the small pond and was scrolling through his playlist for the third before leaving he felt something hit his foot but by the time he realized this he was already heading for the ground. With a thud he landed on his stomach and luckily managed to prevent from smacking his head onto the ground he looked around stunned. He turned his head to look at what he had tripped over and froze when he saw her.

"What happened?" She hadn’t even realized what had happened or that it was him but instead of bolting like he desperately wanted to he was too frozen in shock and fear to move. He hadn’t spoken to Bianca since her accident and never expected to. He was still embarrassed from their last argument and what made it even worse was his feelings for her were still there. For a year guilt plagued him for two reasons; he blamed himself for ruining their friendship and did so at the wrong time, resulting in his absence during her time of need. He knew what it felt like to lose a loved one and since the moment it happened he wished he could have been there to help her through it, but he wasn't out of fear and he was ashamed. He attended the funeral however to pay his respects but he still kept his distance. The shy boy also didn’t want to get hurt again so he chose to keep his distance and was able to up until now, thinking giving her space would be the best option though he often regretted that every time he would spot her around town but his fear blocked out any courage he had to talk to her. It seemed like now he had no choice though.

”I-I’m sorry.” he stuttered as he usually did when he was nervous. He quickly pushed himself up. ”I d-didn’t see you there.” he said bashfully with rosy cheeks.

[Deleted]

Don't let your mind expire.

It took some blinking for Bianca to realize who was standing over her. Then, it took a little longer for her to hold back the urge to gawk at him. Chase's certainly wasn't a face one likely forgot. At least, it wasn't one Bi could. He had to have been one of her best friends before shit hit the fan and went airborne.

”I-I’m sorry. I d-didn’t see you there.”

She tilted her head as she considered his apology. Honestly, she wasn't sure why he should apologize, and after glancing down to find a puddle of drool had soaked into the pages of her text book, she knew the blame wasn't his. She fell asleep and got trampled because of it. That made it her fault and hers alone. It wasn't Chase's. Besides, when he started the stuttering and the emotional and mental hiding, she always felt the need to grab him and hug him. It was sad that her protectiveness of him now faded back with awkwardness and tension. She could still remember their fight.

"It's fine, Chase," she said with a small smile. "I'm the one that fell asleep on the grass in the park."

She closed her books and put everything away before getting to her feet. She left her bag at her feet as she studied him. It was certainly a shock to see him, and she wasn't sure how to react. She definitely didn't know what to say to him. Eventually, she just put her smile back on and just asked the most generic question in the world.

"How have you been?" she asked, brushing her hair back behind her ears as she looked at him.

Chase Harper | 283 | Outfit | Notes.

[Chase Harper]

pretend

it's all just make believe, it's all just

"It's fine, Chase, I'm the one that fell asleep on the grass in the park." Chase held his hand out to help her up but when he saw she was fine without it he retreated it back to his side. There were clear signs of nervousness surrounding the boy and as well as he tried to hide it his shaky hands and rosy cheeks prevented his facade from succeeding. In an attempt to make them stop he stuffed them into his front pants pockets and prayed it work would. Fortunately it did in the meantime but the awkward silence was beginning to make it difficult once again.

"How have you been?" Old feelings suddenly rushed back to Chase in the form of a strong kick to the gut. How has he been? Most likely better off than she has been due to her recent loss but he had some issues of his own. Javier was spending most of his time now at his new martial arts studio, his grades have not been the greatest, he absolutely hated his job, and to top it all off he was as lonely as he was miserable. Despite being out of school for a year now Chase still found it difficult making friends and even tried to branch out by joining different clubs. None lasted longer than a month and all of them ended in awkwardness and with him having even less confidence in himself than before. Of course he couldn’t tell her that, even if he knew she was the one person he could confide in without being judged. He felt ashamed telling her he was in the same spot, if not worse, as he was when they stopped talking. He already felt pathetic enough as it was he couldn’t tell his ex-friend and crush he was still the loser she left him as even if it was her. Besides the last thing he wanted to do was burden her with his sad life and make her day depressing. Still, her smile made him melt inside and suddenly the last couple seconds of worry and doubt that plagued his mind was swept away like dirt with a broom.

”I’ve been great. Thanks for asking.” he lied with both his words and his smile. His fingers played with the tangled up headphones in his pocket as an effort to help make him feel more comfortable. ”How have y-you been? Well…besides the accident….of which I’m really sorry to hear. I-I know I’m a year late but I never got the chance to properly give my condolences.” he said as he hoped she could forgive him for his absence in her time of need. ”I-I was at the funeral though. You probably didn’t see me. I didn’t get a chance to talk to you then….I didn’t think it was a good time.” he glanced down at his shoes as he kicked around a small rock.

[Deleted]

Don't let your mind expire.

”I’ve been great. Thanks for asking.”

Bianca frowned slightly at that. He was lying. She had always been able to tell. She let it go, though. Who was she to out him when all she had been doing for the last year was lie? It wouldn't be right to do that to him. Besides, he still looked about ready to bolt and she didn't want to give him a reason to do so.

”How have y-you been? Well…besides the accident….of which I’m really sorry to hear. I-I know I’m a year late but I never got the chance to properly give my condolences.”

She wanted to slap herself. It was her fault for asking that disgusting question first. It was one she had grown so tired of answering. Sighing, she looked down at her feet as she tried to form an adequate answer.

"It's fine, Chase," she assured. "I actually got tired of hearing them by the end of the funeral. I've been busy, though. Doing school online and working at the caffe."

It left her with very little time to herself. That was one thing that didn't bother her in the slightest. She welcomed the busy schedule because it left her no real time to think. Thinking, for her these days, was never a good thing. It ended in her eyes filling and overflowing with tears and a night filled with tossing and turning and nightmares.

”I-I was at the funeral though. You probably didn’t see me. I didn’t get a chance to talk to you then….I didn’t think it was a good time.”

She looked at him and frowned. She hadn't seen him, but that didn't have anything to do with him. She had been to the wake and funeral on the same autopilot as she'd been living the last year. The only difference had been that she was borderline catatonic. She hadn't noticed anything unless it was shoved in front of her face. Heck, she couldn't even remember who had come to the damn thing anyway.

Sighing as she brushed the thoughts away, she hugged him tightly. This she did for two reasons. The first reason was because she had missed hime. The second reason was because she felt like she was going to cry and she didn't want him to see it if she did. Besides, she had a feeling he needed the hug as much as she needed to use it to hide from her problems.

Chase Harper | 420 | Outfit | I couldn't resist the hug.

[Chase Harper]

we accept the love we think we deserve

[presto] OUTFIT: n/a MUSE: decent [/presto] @bianca

Chase could understand why she would get tired of the condolences even though to most people they helped ease the pain and sometimes loneliness after the loss of a loved one. That was one of the reasons he kept his distance at the funeral. He himself grew tired of them after about a week of them after his fathers funeral. He could remember the entire time there he felt guilty. Not just because of the many things he wish he had said or done, or even not said or done, with his father before he left him but because all he wanted at that moment was to be happy. It wasn't right to him though to feel this way while watching your father being lowered down into a empty, square hole in the ground but he did and he was ashamed. He could only imagine how Bianca felt considering the circumstances of their death, of which he was still mostly in the dark about. Chase had been surrounded by disappointment his whole life so by now it was something he expected. Fortunately for Bianca her life wasn't the same way. After Chase finished speaking he could tell Bianca was on edge now and brought on the guilt that would take residence in the pit of his stomach. When she surprised him with a comforting hug he couldn't help but stand there with a dumbfounded look on his face before he realized he was leaving her hanging and returned the hug. Although he would never admit it he felt like he was floating on air with her in his arms. As he held her tight he caught a whiff of her shampoo; apple. The same as when they were in high school. The smell of her shampoo was one he could never forget, mostly because at a point in time the two were basically inseparable, and was one of the ways he knew when she was around. Despite finding himself in wonderland he also missed his best friend and even after so long he wanted nothing more than for them to be close again. After a minute of hugging Chase reluctantly pulled away and felt the hug was just exactly what they needed to break the ice so with a smile he spoke up. "I've really missed you B. I feel really bad for not being there for you when you needed me the most. But I promise from now on I'm here for you and it's going to stay that way no matter how much of a fool I make myself out to be." he said with a hint of laughter in his voice though on the inside it was more of an awkward one than anything. The two hadn't talked since their fight and he wasn't sure where the two stood or even if she had forgiven him yet.

[Deleted]

Don't let your mind expire.

Bianca had to fight back the urge to snicker as he just stood there like a deer caught in headlights, but when he finally returned the hug, the urge died into tranquility. She really had missed him, but it didn't really help her lighten her mood entirely. It wasn't because of him but because she still felt bad for the fight and the way she handled it.

"I've really missed you B. I feel really bad for not being there for you when you needed me the most. But I promise from now on I'm here for you and it's going to stay that way no matter how much of a fool I make myself out to be."

She looked at him as he said that and frowned. It wasn't his fault, and she knew it. She could have handled things better but she didn't and then came the accident. After that she just avoided everyone and everything that reminded her of her family. By herself and busy, she could avoid the truth at all costs.

"It's not your fault," she said. "It's mine. It's all mine."

The problem here was that Chase was a really big reminder of the truth. At least he was in a very indirect sort of way because that was when it all started. The visions started around that time. She ignored them because she was worried about Chase. She didn't realize what the dreams meant anyway. Not until the day actually arrived and little things began to give her deja vu. Seeing Chase now, hearing him apologize, it brought it all back and she suddenly broke down in tears, unable to hold them back anymore.

She should have been more focused on mending their broken friendship, but the guilt she had buried finally ate through her defenses. She couldn't help it, because she always knew her family died because of her. She saw it coming and did nothing about it. in fact, she left them to die because she got scared and teleported out of the car. She hadn't even realized what she had done until an hour before the wake.

Chase Harper | 357 | Outfit | No notes.